Chasing Demons
by Lola-2011
Summary: When Hotchner is shaken during an investigation Erin breaks their rules to comfort him. Lions and Lambs Series.


Chasing Demons

The interrogation room was eerily silent. But to him everything was incredibly loud. His beating heart echoed in his ears. The sound of his breathing seemed to be reverberating off the walls. Aaron Hotchner sat in a metal chair against the wall. His head bent. His hands covering his face. His mind was reeling. A million emotions flooded over him and he was drowning in all of them.

Erin watched from behind the double sided glass. It felt as though someone was squeezing her heart in their hand. "How long has he been in there?"

"About twenty minutes." Agent Morgan stood with his arms crossed over his chest. "I don't know what to do."

She bit at her bottom lip. Her words stalled. God, she didn't want to say the wrong thing in front of another agent. She also couldn't bear to see Hotch suffer as he was so clearly doing. "I was working with Rossi, why don't you take my place." she told him. "I'll take Agent Hotchner back to the hotel. Can you handle things here for a while?"

He nodded. "Yes ma'am."

As the distance between herself and Morgan grew she made her way to the door of the interrogation room. The metal knob was cold in her hand. And she found herself taking a deep breath. Everything was so new and fresh between them. So good. But this was different. It felt heavy and she wasn't sure of her place in all of it.

The door was quietly pushed open and then quickly closed, clicking into the latch. Hotchner knew it was her before designer heels took one step across the floor. "I'll be fine." he assured her. "I just need a minute."

She wanted nothing more to comfort him. But they were in a work setting. And they had rules in place. "I know you will be." she replied. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm trying to collect my thoughts."

The case was particularly brutal. The latest young girl's name was Haley and it struck something in Hotch that he hadn't expected. "It's been a long, trying, day." she told him. "Why don't we call it a night?"

"I can't leave my team." he murmured. "I don't want to let them down."

"They'll be fine." The natural instinct to touch him won over. Her fingers brushed through his dark hair. "Right now we need to take care of you." she said, softly. "I'll drive you back to the hotel."

Hotchner reached for her hand, pressing a kiss in her palm. "Thank you."

Her fingertips caressed his jawline. "You could never let your team down, Hotch. I hope you know that."

He looked up, his eyes locking with hers. "I feel as though I've failed." his eyes were practically empty. "Again."

"You haven't failed." she replied. "All we can do is try. That counts for more than you think."

"I don't know if I believe that right now."

"Perhaps you will after a drink and a good night's rest."

"Stay with me for a while?"

Erin nodded. "Of course."

Morgan watched their exchange from the other side of the glass. He came back to ask Strauss a question and was taken aback about the scene unfolding in front of him. Erin exited the interrogation room to find Morgan leaning up against the double sided glass. She felt the air leave her lungs.

"Is he going to be okay?" Morgan asked.

"I think so." she played it off the best she could. Perhaps he didn't see anything at all. "He's agreed to go back to the hotel. I'm leaving you in charge."

"Yes ma'am." he handed her a set of car keys. "Be careful." his hand lingered over hers as he placed the keys in her palm.

Their eyes locked in a sort of intense stare down. They both knew the double sided weight of his words. "Of course."

Morgan retracted his hand. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Agent Morgan."

/

There were no stars in the sky and the moon was dim in its existence. The only light that flooded the room was a glowing warm lamplight. Erin placed her purse and the room card on the nearby table and made her way to the minibar. "Bourbon?"

Hotch removed his jacket and hung it over the chair. "No Scotch?"

"It's the same thing."

They had this debate before. "No it's not."

Erin grabbed a bottle of Scotch and emptied its contents into a tumbler. She held the glass out to him. "Bottoms up."

He graciously accepted the drink. "Thanks."

"Hungry?"

"No." he sipped at the Scotch. "You can get something if you'd like."

She shook her head. "Dave and I had some Chinese a little while ago."

Hotch sat the empty tumbler down on the dresser. There was a lingering sadness in him. A lingering disappointment with himself. A burden that he shouldn't have to carry in silence.

Erin's hands went for his tie, pulling the knot loose. "You want to talk about it?" she pulled the tie away.

He sighed heavily. "Yes." he breathed out. "And no."

"I already know what happened, Hotch." she laid the tie on the dresser behind her. "I know every last detail. My only concern right now is you."

His hand cupped her cheek, drawing her closer to him. His mouth met her slightly parted lips. A soft kiss lingered between them before he pulled away. "Thanks for coming back here with me. I know you have other responsibilities."

"One of the perks of being in charge is delegating." she replied. "Besides if we don't start getting some sleep soon none of us are going to be any good at all."

He reached for her hand. "I think that's an excellent idea."

"What's that?" she let him lead her across the room.

"Bed." he replied sliding inward and making himself as comfortable as he possibly could. "I think exhaustion is getting the best of me."

Erin sat down on the bed beside him, facing him. "You know there's always going to be things that trigger this." she slipped her heels off and let them hit the floor. "It's never going to completely go away."

"I just didn't think hearing her name was spark this much emotion."

"The victim was a beautiful blonde named Haley. It's completely normal for your emotions to rise to the surface." she told him. "We all have that one case we'll never be able to let go. Unfortunately your case is worse than the rest of ours."

He pulled her down next to him. "What's yours?" he asked. "If you don't mind sharing."

She burrowed into his warm embrace. "Jason and I worked a gruesome case about ten years ago in a small town in Texas. A doctor was preforming medical experiments on children." Erin closed her eyes at the memory. It was still so vivid. The smell of blood still flooded her nostrils to this day. "We thought that we had caught him in time, but it was too late. His laboratory was filled with the vilest things I had ever seen. I cried the entire flight back to Virginia. The next morning I took a leave of absence and when I came back it was to Section Chief. When I accompanied the team to Milwaukee after Jason left it was my first time back in the field since Lakeside City."

"That's why you left the field?" he asked. "I thought you wanted to spend more with your family? Grant was campaigning at the time."

"It was a convenient excuse." she replied, honestly. "I'd seen too much and I knew I couldn't remain in the field. It's why Jason left. It was why I offered you retirement after Foyet."

"And yet here we both are."

"I guess the BAU has a hold on us."

Hotch pressed a kiss against her temple. "We make a pretty good pair then."

"Oh, you think so?" her eyebrow arched, playfully.

"More and more every day." he dropped a kiss onto her lips. "After this is all over I think we should have a little rendezvous, what do you think?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"At least twenty four hours of no work, no cellphones, no children, and most importantly no interruptions."

Erin smiled. "I could definitely go for that."

-Finished.


End file.
